the time someone farted in the elevator

here's one that I still can't believe happened....

so I'm coming back from lunch, running a bit late for a 1p meeting. I get to the elevators and almost just missed one, when the 1 person inside graciously risked squashing her limbs to stop the doors from closing.

but here's where it gets weird....

I get in. sniff-sniff-sniff. oh no she didnt!?! she totally farted before I got in! and for some reason that still escapes me, she HELD THE DOOR OPEN for me and my co-worker to get in.

so, my co-w and I looked at each other, each of us making that face. you know the one. furrowed brow. twitching nose. facial expression of disbelief and confusion. my mind was flooded with the same, resounding thought, over and over again: is that a fart? did someone fart? OMG, that is a fart. she was the only one in before we got in. why would she fart and hold the door open? ewwwww...that IS a fart!

why did my nose insist on confirming and re-confirming the obvious....YEAH she farted! yet I couldn't help but keep sniffing. the smell was so bad and so obvious, you can almost taste it! (I know....ewwww)

and as if the potency of the funk weren't enough Proof of Fart (P.O.F.), Ms. Farty McFarty practically gave it away herself.

you see, Ms. F McF is not a very friendly person. she's actually quite unfriendly. but in the midst of her fart cloud, she tried to distract our attention away from the obvious (The Fart) by being miss congeniality. super chatty and fake-friendly chatty, at that! it was painful. it was obvious. and it was the last time I rushed into an elevator that someone held open for me.

ummmm....no thanks, go ahead. I'll catch the next one.